Sometimes when things don’t go well at work, we speak to ourselves with self-deprecating words like, “I’m not good enough,” “Everyone is better at this than me,” or “I’m going to fail.”
Sometimes we think that being harsh on ourselves makes us better, but nothing could be further from the truth. In a world where anyone can judge or criticize you in the face of failure, you need self-compassion to back yourself up. Self-compassion is the ability to forgive yourself, show yourself kindness, and accept your perceived flaws.
While being tough on yourself has merits, practicing self-compassion is better for your overall mental and emotional well-being. Here are five ways to practice self-compassion at work and quiet your inner critic.
1. Be a friend to yourself
Everybody needs friends, but the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. Be your own best friend because other people can come and go in your life, but you will always be there for yourself.
A good friend is loyal and trustworthy, shows love and compassion, gives encouragement and empathy, and lends a helping hand when things get rough. There’s really no difference between being a friend to yourself and being a friend to others. You just have to treat yourself with the same kindness you show others.
2. Practice forgiveness
You will always encounter failures and disappointments at work, but you don’t have to punish yourself because of them. Stop beating yourself up for your mistakes and accept that you’re not perfect. If you can forgive others for their shortcomings, why not extend the same forgiveness to yourself? The sooner you forgive yourself, the sooner you can move on and become a better person.
3. Express gratitude
Feeling gratitude is a powerful way of uplifting yourself. It is consistently associated with greater happiness and satisfaction. Expressing gratitude helps you feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, and deal with adversity.
Rather than wishing for something you do not have, appreciating what you have right now helps build the confidence and motivation you need to be successful at work.
4. Recognize one’s humanity
Common humanity teaches us that feelings of inadequacy and disappointment are universal. It means that we’re not alone in being imperfect or feeling hurt. Part of recognizing common humanity is embracing imperfection, understanding others’ suffering, and making sense of our experience as shared human experience rather than withdrawing or isolating ourselves.
5. Be mindful
Practicing mindfulness can be an essential self-compassion exercise that can influence our inner critic to give a more positive voice or lesser self-judgment. Being mindful allows you to be aware of your own hurtful thoughts and emotions and embrace them with kindness and care in response.
Conclusion
Setting high standards for yourself can keep you motivated and increase your chances of success. But when your own self-imposed high expectations cause you to turn on yourself and bombard you with negative thoughts, you become your very own worst critic.
In this world, no one is perfect, and there will be times you’ll commit mistakes — and that’s okay. Remember that you’re not alone and that imperfection is part of a shared human experience. Cut yourself some slack and accept that committing mistakes can be a way for you to learn and grow as a person.
